|"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it."
That's not to say it's not a notable installment of the broader Star Wars mythos. Beyond featuring Carrie Fisher's drug-addled rendition of the Star Wars end theme (with lyrics) and Harvey Korman as an apron-adorned General Grievous prototype, the show was one of the first projects tackled by the great monster-maestro Stan Winston - his designs for Chewbacca's Wookiee family are debatably more terrifying than all his later extraterrestial monstrosities combined.
|The Predator has nothing on Grandpa Attichitcuk.
While the audience reaction to these revelations was, at best, mixed, most Star Wars enthusiasts agree that the best sequence of The Star Wars Holiday Special is the animated introduction of bounty hunter Boba Fett. Oh, hey, it's that guy!
|If you stay sane up to the 51:02 minute mark, you get to see Boba Fett riding the Loch Ness Monster! Worth it.
"George wrote the story. It was called 'The Faithful Wookiee'. His outline was about nine pages, and then Rod Warren did a scene-by-scene break down, and we worked with that and created storyboards."
Clive Smith, SFX Magazine #67 (August 2000)
In the cartoon (which appears to be part Wookiee children's show, part underground Rebel news broadcast - the nature of the segment is never clearly explained), the Star Warriors recieve a transmission from the Millenium Falcon. The message reveals Han Solo hanging upside-down from the ceiling and Chewie piloting the ship away in distress. Luke, Artoo and Threepio take a Y-Wing and pursue the Falcon to a moon in the Jell-O system.
Luke's ship crashes in the Rasberry Jell-o Sea of Panna, and is immediately set upon by an alien serpent creature, whose skin is impervious to the young rebel's weaponry. He ejects the cockpit of the craft while the monster is busy having it's way with the rest of his Y-Wing. Those poor turbines!
Until, entering stage right...
|Pictured: Boba Fett making nature his bitch. Take that, nature.
Frank Nissen, SFX Magazine #67 (August 2000)
Like a moustachioed forty year old inviting a niave blonde child into the back of his van, Boba convinces Luke that he knows where the Falcon has landed, and that he will take him there. Upon arriving at the Falcon, Luke falls victim to the same affliction as Han - paralysis by way of a magical Imperial sleeping amulet/bioweapon that only works on humans (as for why the MacGuffin Amulet didn't affect Fett, it's possible that the character wasn't originally supposed to be human under that helmet. That, or it's just a plot hole). Boba promptly makes use of his mechanical lasso, which is awesome.
One Nessie ride later, the two uneasy allies arrive at what could easily be the city from O'Bannon and Moebius' The Long Tomorrow.
"I worked with Frank in coming up with a graphic style. It was loosely based on Moebius, the French comic book artist. One of his series was called The Airtight Garage. I used to look at each of these comic book frames for hours. He had such an incredibly cinematic vision. He did these fantastic wide shots where your eye went exactly to where it was supposed to go. He did these wonderful 'spaghetti western' shots where it's an extreme wide shot but with an extreme close-up character in the foreground, creating a wonderful dichotomy of close up and distance. I suppose our film came out looking a little bit like Moebius."
Clive Smith, SFX Magazine #67 (August 2000)
Boba ditches Chewie next to a homeless guy and goes to the Quik-E-Mart for some instant antidote. While he's at it, he drops by a fancy ATM phonebooth and swipes his Frequent Caller's Card to contact Dark Lord of the Sith and frequent drinking buddy, James Earl. Back at the ship, however, the droids eavesdrop and discover the Bucket Brigade's nonsensical Imperial plot to infiltrate the rebel asteroid base.
Later, Boba and Chewie make good their escape on the back of the sea serpent, but are pursued by an Imperial gunboat. Boba takes a few halfhearted potshots, not wanting to betray the Imperials, but also needing to keep up appearances for the walking carpet. Chewie says '**** that ****' (loosely translated), takes Boba's gun, and turns the enemy skimmer into a miniature Death Star reenactment.
|Assuming those Stormtroopers were clones, Chewbacca basically just killed Boba's dad three times. What the hell, man.
And then Boba jets out of the Falcon's airlock for some reason.
|"Now that you've figured out I'm the bad guy and I've got a gun pulled on all of you, it's time for me to go. See you in the sequel, fools!"
|Also: Harrison Ford should sue.
The Boba Fett cartoon is a lovable relic of retro Canadian animation and Star Wars-before-it-was-Star Wars storytelling, infused with Moebius and sandwiched in the center of pop culture's proverbial Ark of the Covenent. If that description isn't enough to bleach your memory of Diahann Carroll's Mermeia Holographic Wow solo, I don't know what will.
|Happy Life Day, dear readers. Happy Life Day.